


Wannabe

by seanisfinnigan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Podcast: Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27821830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanisfinnigan/pseuds/seanisfinnigan
Summary: Written for the Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them spring 2020 writing competition. The main character had to be a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw from Harry's year, there had to be a cup of tea present, and the characters had to listen to a muggle pop song. So naturally I turned the Hufflepuffs into the Spice Girls, but I needed a fifth member...
Relationships: Harry Potter/Original Female Character(s), Justin Finch-Fletchley/Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones/Blaise Zabini





	Wannabe

♫ Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want… ♫

She looked up from her cup of tea as the song lyrics cut through the haze of her worries, her heart skipping a beat. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there, staring at the cup in her hands. The liquid was no longer steaming, however, so it must have been quite some time. The last thing she remembered registering was Hannah switching the radio to a muggle pop station after the latest broadcast of Potterwatch had concluded with yet another long list of names. Names of the missing and dead.

♫ … So tell me what you want, what you really, really want… ♫

She shook herself as the lyrics pierced through the haze once more, and smiled faintly. This song wasn’t exactly her taste, but it did bring back some fond memories…

~~A reverse passage of time (AKA a flashback)~~

♫ … I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah… ♫

I wanna what? she thought to herself absently as she took a sip of tea, glancing around the common room.

Hannah was making the rounds to all of the plants scattered throughout the room, watering each of them with a restrained “Aguamenti” and then showering each with individualized praise and encouragement. A roaring fire was crackling in the hearth, in front of which two first years were playing a subdued game of wizard’s chess. A small crowd had gathered by the table set up to one side, where a house elf would soon be laying out a selection of snacks left over from dinner that evening. And in the corner armchair, she could just make out Justin’s untamed hair peeking out from behind the larger frame of Ernie, who was snogging him soundly.

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really want,” whispered Susan in her ear.

“A zig a zag ah?” she replied drily.

Susan snorted. “No, I want to spend some time in the snogging chair with Blaise,” she replied. “That is, if Ernie and Justin ever take things out of said chair and into the bedroom…”

She rolled her eyes and made a faint gagging sound in her throat, not wanting to think about her two friends alone in their bedroom.

“How about you?” Susan inquired teasingly.

“How about me, what?” she replied innocently.

“You know what I mean, you prude. Who do you wanna ‘zigazig ah’ with?”

“Ew. Please never refer to kissing as ‘zigazig ah’ again.”

“I’m pretty sure it means more than kissing… but, you’re avoiding the question.”

“Well, if you must know… I suppose I wouldn’t mind kissing Harry.”

Susan laughed. “I knew it!” she cried triumphantly, earning a few curious glances from the chess players and snack grazers.

“Shh!”

“Sorry,” Susan whispered, looking slightly contrite. But only slightly. “I’ve just known you were into him for so long! Probably for longer than you have! And now I’ve finally gotten you to admit it!”

“Well, congrats,” she sighed. “It’s not as if anything will come of it. I doubt he even knows who I am.”

“Oh, hush. I’m sure he knows who you are! You’re the prettiest Hufflepuff in our year, not counting me. And everyone knows I’m more interested in Blaise,” Susan drawled.

She smiled at that, as the flicker of hope inside her chest burned a little brighter. Maybe Harry did notice her.

♫... If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends... ♫

“That’s it!” Susan cried suddenly.

“What’s it?” she replied, startled.

“If you want him to be your lover, you gotta get him... with us, your friends! We’re going to help you win Harry Potter!” exclaimed Susan. And with that, she ran off to extricate the boys from their armchair and usher Hannah away from her plants, ignoring the protesting groan from behind her.

~~A passage of time~~

“So, I’m... Punch Spice?”

“No, Posh Spice,” Susan corrected.

“Uh... why?”

“Because Harry is clearly into posh girls. Just look at Cho!”

“Oh.”

“And because Ernie is clearly Scary Spice...”

“Hey!” interjected Ernie menacingly.

“... Hannah is definitely Baby Spice...”

“Um... thanks?”

“... and I’m the only one with any red in my hair, so I have to be Ginger Spice. Which leaves you as Sporty or Posh, and like I said, Harry seems to like posh better even though he’s sporty himself. So, Justin can be Sporty Spice,” concluded Susan triumphantly. “Now, let’s practice!”

~~A passage of time~~

She sat at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall, stomach in knots. Soon dinner would be over and Harry and his friends would be leaving. Why hadn’t Susan made the signal yet?

“... and anyway, I’m sure we can get more of the Hufflepuffs to join,” Hermione Granger’s voice drifted over from the Gryffindor table. She perked up, straining to hear Harry’s reply over the din of students.

“But... are there any more Hufflepuffs?” Harry asked. “I mean, besides Hannah, Susan, Ernie, and Justin?”

Her heart sank.

“Er...” she heard Ron stutter, “there have to be, right? Isn’t there another girl that Susan sometimes talks to in Herbology?”

“Oh yeah, ‘unidentified witch!’” Harry replied.

“Honestly, you two! Her name is...” she heard Hermione say faintly as the blood rushed to her head, filling her ears with a deafening roar. This was too much. Not only did he not know her name, he barely registered her existence. And he referred to her as ‘unidentified witch!’ Feeling suddenly very sick, she quickly stood up and rushed out of the Great Hall, ignoring Susan’s cries as she passed her small group of friends, who were already standing in their ridiculous starting poses. Why had she ever thought this would work? The whole thing was ridiculous. Just like that song. Just like her.

~~A passage of time~~

“Are you alright?” Susan asked gently, sitting down beside her on the bed.

“What happened?” added Hannah, joining them.

“I... I was stupid to ever think he could like me,” she replied. “You should have heard him! He doesn’t have any idea who I am! He called me ‘unidentified witch!’”

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry! I should never have forced you into this,” Susan said sadly.

“No, no. It’s not your fault. And you didn’t force me. I wanted to give it a shot, even if he rejected me. I just didn’t expect to get rejected before I even tried... But,” she smiled faintly, “I did have fun with all of you. You know, rehearsing and everything.”

Hannah smiled back. “Well, you know,” she said, “I’ve heard somewhere that friendship... never ends.”

Susan groaned at the joke, but smiled as well before standing up and pulling on both of their hands. “Come on,” she said, “I know just what we need to do. We need to find the boys, and then we need to give the performance of our lives to the common room!”

~~A large passage of time (AKA the end of the flashback)~~

♫ ... Get your act together, we could be just fine... ♫

She realized with a start that they were all doing more or less the same things they had been that first time she had ever heard this song. She and Susan were nursing their tea, while Hannah tended the plants and the boys were quietly canoodling in the corner. But, she noticed, this time they were all paying attention to the song. In fact, they were all exchanging glances, faint hints of mischief and happiness glinting in their tired eyes. Slowly, she stood up and moved toward the center of the room, striking a ridiculous (and, according to Susan, ‘posh’) pose. The others quickly joined her. And then, to the astonishment of their classmates, Hannah flicked her wand at the radio, which ceased to play, and they all began to sing.

~~A short passage of time~~

♫... Slam your body down and zigazig ah  
If you wanna be my lover ♫

As they sang the last lines, the five friends fell to the floor of the common room, laughing between gasps for air and hugging one another as the common room erupted into applause and genuine laughter, perhaps for the first time that year.

“I love you. All of you,” she said happily, squeezing Hannah and Justin’s hands as they lay on the floor, still chuckling intermittently. 

“We love you too, Kim.”

~~A passage of reality~~

Kim awoke with a start. Well, that shit was some cursed content, she thought to herself. I’ll have to tell Sequoia about it later. And then she rolled over, humming faintly to herself.

♫ ...Make it last forever, friendship never ends... ♫

FIN.


End file.
